


Unforgiven

by Stellar_Shiva



Category: Lollipop Chainsaw
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Metallica - Freeform, Song Lyrics, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 03:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7918114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stellar_Shiva/pseuds/Stellar_Shiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lewis attempts to move on from his past. But memories don't die so easily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unforgiven

**Author's Note:**

> This is a song fic set to "The Unforgiven II" by Metallica. All rights and ownership of that song go to them.

They were lying in bed, neither speaking a word. Lewis had a cigarette in his mouth, puffing at it idly while she was curled up beside him. She looked up at him, with her half-burned face hidden mostly in shadow. Her vulnerability showed in the unshed tears at the corners of her eyes. Prior to sex, he had told her everything about his life. He told her about Betty.

And yet she too had told him about her short life as well. Here they were both scarred in different ways. Usually when he had sex with a girl he didn’t care. But this was different. He couldn’t understand why, but it nagged at him.

He lowered one of his arms from behind his head and put it around the girl next to him. She responded by getting closer to him. Her sympathy was like a balm on the ragged edges of his soul, which was something both beautiful and rare to find in the Rotten World.  He should be relishing in it right now, but he couldn’t.

Lewis didn’t like this feeling he had. His heart had stopped beating for others a long time ago. Somehow she stirred something in him with her loyalty and what had remained of her innocence.

_Lay beside me, tell me what they've done_

_Speak the words I wanna hear, to make my demons run_

_The door is locked now, but it's opened if you're true_

_If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you_

 

He felt the scarred tissue scrape lightly against his chest as she shifted to climb on top of him. She was beautiful. Long black hair, chestnut brown eyes, and a full mouth were placed on fine features, interrupted by burnt skin that divided her face roughly down the middle. Had she not died young, she would have been beautiful by the time she hit her twenties. Rounded breasts were pressed against his chest as she lay on him.

“How would you feel if I looked at you that way?” she teased lightly.

He could only grin. “I wouldn’t mind it half as much, doll.”

She lightly hit him on the arm.  “What’s up, Lewis? Is something on your mind?”

“I’ve got a lot of things on my mind.” He replied, raising a hand to rake it through her hair. “By the way, your makeup is smudged.”

She glared at him. “I wonder why.”

He chuckled.

“What are you thinking about?” she prodded.

He sighed, breathing smoke in her face. “I’m not sure.”

She coughed, and Lewis shrugged as he took another puff. “Can’t kill us anymore.” Was all he said as he turned back to his thoughts.

_Lay beside me, under wicked sky_

_Through black of day, dark of night, we share this paralyze_

_The door cracks open but there's no sun shining through_

_Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun shining through_

_No, there's no sun shining through_

_No, there's no sun shining..._

 

He replayed the last few months of his previous life, unable to stop himself. The one constant was Betty. His teeth clenched down on his cigarette as he took a long draw. Everything he had done was for her until the end, when he agreed to become a purveyor. That was a stupid decision he had made because he had wanted vengeance. Where did it get him? Never-ending hell. Nothing he could say or do now would change that. And yet as much as his former life haunted him, should he let this girl in? Betty was dead; there was no way to undo that. Maybe he should just let everything go, and try to make the most of his un-life.

 

_What I've felt, what I've known_

_Turn the pages, turn the stone_

_Behind the door, should I open it for you?_

 

In his mind Lewis went over what he knew about the girl next to him. Her name is Tracy Collins; she goes by Trixie. She was born in Seattle, Washington in 1979 and that’s where she also died in 1995. She kicked it from a fire at a concert and being trampled to death by the crowd. After death, Trixie became the Grunge Princess, or so she calls herself. She loves Nirvana and Alice in Chains. He had originally met her when she showed up at a diner wanting to join his gang. Greaser gangs typically didn’t allow women in, but she became the gang pet. He even let her wear the gang patch on the back of her leather jacket.

They had been friends since the late 90’s, and she was the one who helped put him back together after that cheerleader bitch cut him in half and ruined his bike. It took a while for him to fix it, but he was so pissed off. It had been Trixie that had kept him company and listened to his bitching. He had always talked to her on his bad days and she’d patiently listen. Pretty young for a zombie but that didn’t mean Trixie was any less wise than the rest of them. Lewis let her join his band and she played bass for his concerts. He liked having her around.  Come to think of it, she had been there for him every time he needed her. Maybe…just maybe he’d take a chance with his heart. Or was she trying to win him over for some other reason?

 

_What I've felt, what I've known_

_Sick and tired, I stand alone_

_Could you be there? 'Cause I'm the one who waits for you_

_Or are you unforgiven, too?_

 

Something began to occur to him. All of the things Trixie had done for him were beginning to add up. Did she…?

“Lewis, there’s something I want to tell you.” Trixie spoke, which sent him careening back into reality.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I love you.” She whispered, leaning in to kiss him.

He let her kiss him, but he didn’t return it. She looked at him curiously. “Lewis…?”

Betty had flashed in his mind, and he could think of no one else at the moment. Her smile and the way her eyes lit up when she smiled; it was almost too much. He gently pushed Trixie off of him and sat up, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks and over the scrapes on his face. All at once he felt dirty, ashamed and angry. How could he do this to Betty’s memory?! She lay dead in that cemetery, loving him even through her journey to heaven. She was waiting for him up there, he wanted to believe. No, he was sure of it. But how could he know?

 

_Come lay beside me, this won't hurt, I swear_

_She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again_

_She lay beside me but she'll be there when I'm gone_

_Black heart scarring darker still, yes, she'll be there when I'm gone_

_Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone_

_Dead sure she'll be there..._

 

“Trix…I can’t. I just can’t.” he stammered, trying to hold all of his feelings in.

Her eyes saddened. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She said as she looked away. “It’s Betty isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” he trailed, hastily wiping his eyes before extinguishing the remains of his cigarette.

“Those memories will only hurt and torment you, Lewis. Why do this to yourself?”

At that moment he swore he’d heard Betty talking and not Trixie. He shook himself to regain his senses. She had a point. Maybe this was a hint that he should move on and just accept her heart that she had tried to give to him.

 

_What I've felt, what I've known_

_Turn the pages, turn the stone_

_Behind the door, should I open it for you?_

 

He had been alone in the Rotten World since day one. Even though some of his old friends had joined him here, it wasn’t enough. There was an expanse in his soul that stretched too far for him to allow anyone in too close. It was Hell, after all. The few people you let in the better. But yet he was still human. An undead human, yes, but that didn’t change the fact that he yearned for affection and love from someone else. But could he? He wasn’t sure as he clutched his head. All these thoughts spinning around in his head made him sick to his stomach.

 

_What I've felt, what I've known_

_Sick and tired, I stand alone_

_Could you be there? 'Cause I'm the one who waits for you_

_Or are you unforgiven, too?_

 

All he could picture was Betty in a pristine white dress in heaven with beautiful angel wings, away from any and everything that could hurt her. She smiled at him with her arms opened for him. She got closer to him; he could almost touch her. Then the gates of heaven slammed shut between them, dividing them. He broke down. He began to violently sob.

_Lay beside me, tell me what I've done_

_The door is closed, so are your eyes_

_But now I see the sun, now I see the sun_

_Yes, now I see it_

Then all at once it was gone.  He was back in his bedroom with Trixie who had wrapped her arms around him as he wept. Betty’s rape, his death and unlife all came crashing down at once. Lewis couldn’t stop himself if he tried. The feelings of weakness and helplessness seeped into him and he hated it. Nothing was worse than that.

What really killed it was the fact he’d never know when he’d be released to go to heaven. He’d never know when he’d see Betty again. Trixie’s attempts to soothe him were like piss on a fire. At the same time her sweet nothings did have some meaning for him. Out of the whole Rotten World she was the only one who cared about him like that and in such a way.

 

_What I've felt, what I've known_

_Turn the pages, turn the stone_

_Behind the door, should I open it for you?_

 

Lewis realized as his depression waned that as Trixie waited for him, he was was waiting for Betty. Life was a bitch, and then you died. That was his philosophy on many things pertaining to the Rotten World.  If there was a God He was a sick fuck. No matter how much he hated it, here he was; dead, sick, tired and depressed. He silently hoped he wasn’t turning into that Swan bitch. That would make him sicker.

 

_What I've felt, what I've known_

_So sick and tired, I stand alone_

_Could you be there? 'Cause I'm the one who waits,_

_The one who waits for you...._

 

A few moments that felt as if they had been stretched to capacity had passed between them. The sobbing ceased and he was just quiet. She said nothing either, but she had let go of him. Lewis had shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, his back to Trixie. He had lit another cigarette, his posture rigid.

“Lewis…?” she trailed, breaking the silence.

He sighed, exhaling plumes of smoke. His mind had been made up. “Trixie, get dressed. And get out.” He said simply.

 

_Oh, what I've felt, what I've known_

_Turn the pages, turn the stone_

_Behind the door, should I open it for you? (so I dub thee Unforgiven)_

 

After all this time, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t betray Betty any farther than what he had done. If she was waiting for him, he’d wait for her. His will resolute, he turned around to face a stunned Trixie.

“Did I stutter?” he added.

_Oh, what I've felt..._

_Oh, what I've known..._

 

“But why Lewis?” she protested.

His jaw set. “I can’t and won’t love anyone else. It’s as simple as that. I can’t stand to see your face right now, so I’ll ask you one more time to leave before I put a bullet between your eyes.”

Her eyes flashed with anger as she hurriedly dressed and stormed her way out of his house.

Lewis sat there for a moment before he got up and walked out of his bedroom to the front door. He turned the key and locked it.

_I take this key (never free...)_

_And I bury it (never me...) in you_

_Because you're unforgiven, too..._

Did he make the right decision? Maybe. It didn’t matter now. He was an asshole to Trixie and broke her heart. He did feel pangs of regret over it, but he buried those feelings. Life was Hell, and that’s all there was for him now. She’d understand why when she was older and had more life experience. But for now, he just walked back to his room and laid back down. He shut his eyes, and tried not to think about it.

 

_Never free..._

_Never me..._

_'Cause you're unforgiven, too..._

_Oh_

 

Despite what he was in life, he had to be empty and heartless. As all undead were expected to be.


End file.
